today 16 of august
as per usual
i woke up quite late
IM WAS SO SLEEPY
i dun even feel like going to school
i hate school now
it seem that, i dun belong there anymore
every since i retain
deep inside me has gone into depression
i still rmb that day when i noe im gonna retain
i was so regretful
i wasnt myself that day
i was so surprise that i failed almost every subject
that day was the most painful day of my life
i jus wan to escape the fate that im retaining
i dunwan ppl to look at me
saying ' aiyo , this is the boy, who repeat his sec3 '
im afraid to be label the ' lazy ' student
that day
i went home, without opening my report book
deep inside, i knew im gonna retain
but i still carry a little hope that im not
but when i reach home
i opened my book and i saw that im not promoting
i have broken down
i was sticking to the place where i sleep everyday
i covered myself with the blanket and
i cried....
i blame on everything
i blame on doesnt have a room, doesnt have a private place where i can have a good study environment
i blame on my english teacher, for failing my english
i was desprately blaming on everything
in the end
i blame myself
for not studying
for not trying to listen in class
for not sumiting homework
i cried endlessly
i don't know what should i do
i ask my mother whether she will be able to persuade me to promote to sec 4
but that freaking sng didnt agree
i promise to study hard
i promise to get better grade
i promise for anything
but, it still disappoint me
and i was in a moodless emotion for the next few week
i even though of ending my pathetic life
i jus dun wanna life any longer
in disgrace and dispair
in the end, i though ending my miserable life mean nth
i have to continue living
though im afriad my frend will nv be my frend anymore
i tried my hardest to continue
but today
im so sad
i felt so empty
i felt like no one care about me
even when im talking about my past
i have this emotion that i wanna cry again...
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Past Months August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 December 2012 January 2013 March 2013